A Reflection on Healing and Rebirth

Last week, I went on a 6-day solo adventure where I completely disconnected from the outside world.

They say Mt. Shasta calls for you, inviting you in to heal & transform the parts of you that are no longer aligned with your highest truth.

With the weight of my past on my shoulders… (literally a backpack full of journals)… I was feeling really terrified… scared to relive the moments that broke me and brought me to my knees time & time again.

But I knew this is what was needed for me to finally mend & move forward.

For the past 7 years, since I lost my mom, I have been trying to put myself back together and really understand who I am… what my soul is calling me towards & who I'm meant to become.

As I went through my journals, I felt so much anger & shame around my past… like that party girl, and queen of self-sabotage somehow held me back from all my dreams…

But I realized she's actually the one who created them. 

It was that girl who had the will to finally stop abandoning herself…to get back up over and over again… to keep fighting…

It was that girl who finally decided she is worthy, enough and deserving of all of the hopes in her heart…

It is that girl's pain that has now become my purpose. 

I am so proud of her. 

Although the healing will never truly end, I do feel that I have reached some sort of culmination - a closing of a cycle… a cycle that was equally painful & beautiful.

Freedom can be scary, because our old ways, doubts & fears have been our security blanket… and when they are no longer… your brain is kinda like.. Um.. Now what?

It feels extremely uncomfortable because that is how we have been living nearly our entire lives.

Know that any moment you have the opportunity to choose again…

To choose to heal the holes in your heart, to shine brighter, to play bigger, to dream greater, to come back to life, to rise from the ashes, to break free from your cocoon and fly once again.